7 Secrets to Shopping for Lingerie, Victoria Won't Tell You
We’ve all heard it before: the rumor that 90% of women are wearing the wrong sized bra. We’ve all been there before: Breaking open a package of stockings thinking they were pantyhose, or vice versa. Or buying a bra that’s technically our size without trying it on, to find it was ill-fitting. And being someone who’s worked in lingerie for several years, I’ve heard these horror stories countless times. But there are steps anyone can take in order to make their lingerie shopping experience run as smoothly as possible, and they’re much simpler than you think.
1. Ask yourself if the store is right for your needs
Would you ever think to go to Mansour for affordable college dorm rugs, or Gap for a gown to attend an art gala? I hope not because those aren’t the focus or specialty of the stores. And when it comes to lingerie, stores have varying focuses as well.
Focuses or specialties can include basic undergarments, shapewear, sleepwear, bridal, costume, or even vintage lingerie. If you’re on a lingerie mission and don’t know what a store typically carries, make no assumptions. Call in advance and ask if they sell the product you’re shopping for. It may save you a trip, or lead you in the right direction to a store that does sell what you need.
No longer will you have to make that trip all the way to what ended up being a bondage store with a gagged mannequin greeting you at the door, when all you really wanted was a nude bra to wear to the office.
2. Prepare yourself to potentially try on garments
Firstly, arrive at the store feeling clean and refreshed; whatever that means to you. Make whatever personal regiments you’d need to make you feel comfortable enough to try on lingerie a priority the day you decide to shop. Trying on garments is the only way to truly know if something will fit properly, so try not to schedule your lingerie shopping trip after a day at the gym or the hot park.
Secondly, if possible, wear an outfit that’s easy to remove. It’s likely you’ll be in and out of fitting rooms, and if possible, it’s best to wear an outfit you won’t be dreading to take off or put back on once you get in there.The day you plan to shop for lingerie is the perfect day to wear ballet flats, that stretchy dress you own with no closures on it, or your favorite circle skirt. And maybe leave your Olivia-Newton-John-in-the-final-scene-of-Grease-style spandex pant at home that day.
3. Get fitted...Yes, yes. I’m talking to you
If it’s been more than 6 months since you’ve gotten fitted for a bra or last purchased a bra that fit you, make it a point to get fitted by a professional. If you’ve experienced any changes with your body that may affect your bust size (weight gain or loss, pregnancy, breastfeeding, surgery, etc.,) get fitted.
It’s not always accurate to assume that because that go-to Good Judy bra you’ve had for years still fits you well, that you should buy new bras based on that size. Over time, as your body changes, your old faithful bra may mold or stretch to those changes to an extent. Meaning if you buy another bra based on the size of the old-faithful which has been around for three years (you know which bra I’m talking about. The one that knows more about you than even most of your family members,) that it won’t necessarily pick up where the old one left off size-wise.
Also, while you’re at the store, make sure to get a second opinion on how the bras you try on fit you from a skilled member of their staff. Buying based off of a size you recall being in the past, being “pretty comfy” in the bra or feeling it looks flattering doesn’t always necessarily mean it fits you. Buying without a second opinion at times can lead to future discomfort or beautiful bras getting to know missing socks in the back of a drawer for years to come.
4. Try on things if you can
Make it a point to try things on if you’re allowed to. Many times, corporate stores such as Victoria’s Secret or American Eagle’s Aerie will let you purchase underwear, try it on at home and return it for a refund if it doesn’t fit or look good. But this is because they’re major companies who can afford to dispose of the garments after they are returned to the store.
A small boutique usually does not have the luxury of trashing an item if it’s returned. Most small boutiques I’ve visited, as well as two I’ve worked at, had disposable panties available that one could try underwear on over. This was so that the customer could make sure they were satisfied with the fit and look of the panties, and then returns would not be an issue in the future. In some shops, garments are sold in sealed packages with size charts corresponding with the garments, which you can review before purchasing.
5. Don’t be afraid of trying a different size
Just like how it’s common to be a size six at some stores and a size eight at others, the sizing of lingerie brands all run differently. This becomes tricky when shopping at a boutique or lingerie department at a store like Nordstrom, which may carry around 50 different brands. Also, foreign brands frequently run differently from American sizing.
Don’t be afraid of trying a sister size or a size you’re not used to if it’s suggested to you. Many customers I’ve had in the past got emotional when trying on a different cup size and seeing positive results. But with all of the varying brand sizing, the size on the tag doesn’t necessarily mean that your body is changing. Successfully fitting a cup size down does not necessarily mean you’re less voluptuous, and successfully fitting a cup size up doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gaining weight.
The first thing one learns when working in lingerie is that the alpha of the cup (A, B, C,) is not all that determines the size of one’s bust; It’s a combination of the alpha and the band size (32, 34, 36.) If the bra encases you properly, is comfortable and deemed an appropriate fit by your sales associate, don’t worry so much about what the tag says.
To quote Starland Vocal Band and the fabulous Willam Belli, “When it’s right, it’s right.”
6. Be very descriptive when telling a sales associate what you’re looking for
The lingerie world can be full of misunderstandings, as not everyone is taught the same vocabulary when it comes to addressing a garment.
For example, I frequently got asked at my workplaces about “corsets.” Some of these people were looking for a true steel-boned corset for waist training or authentic period-inspired dress, some were looking for anything that will give them an hourglass figure, and some were looking for anything laced up in the back to wear with a Halloween-type costume.
While I could go on and on about what the difference between corsets, bustiers and waist cinchers are, or what the differences between a thigh-high and stocking are, I will just give one piece of advice: Talk to the sales associate and describe to them what you want the garment you’re shopping for to do for you. Saying something descriptive like “I’m looking for something to wear under my clothing that will cinch me in at the waist like a corset,” or “I’m looking for hosiery to wear with my new garter-belt,” will get you accurate results if you’re unsure of what you’re looking for.
What have we learned?
These suggestions are to give you a better shopping experience, potentially save you money, time and energy, and to help you find exactly what you’re looking for from an insider’s perspective. Lingerie, while it’s a beloved industry to many, is not something most people know a lot about. It can easily become tedious to think about, as many times talking about or learning about lingerie can still be considered embarrassing or unnecessary, due to the intimate role it plays in our lives.
But whether your goals with a garment are to keep yourself supported during a long work day, to look good for a sexy night in, or to authenticate a burlesque costume, I encourage you to find the right store for you, ask all the right questions, get all of the informed advice you need, purchase the correct size for you and do a jig in the fitting room when something looks great on.
