RPDR Season 9 Episode 5: “Reality Stars: the Musical” Review | Spoiler Alert

A Kardashian-themed main challenge and Meghan Trainor as a guest judge in a unicorn onesie? Looks like I’ll be needing (to quote Dax Exclamationpoint and her eyeroll) “lots and lots of vodka…”

This week, the girls were challenged to dazzle in a Kardashian-themed musical performance by giving us their best and most over the top impersonations of reality television’s alleged royal family. They were also asked to present fur-themed runway ensembles…which I wasn’t very happy with personally.

I’m sure you can tell by now that I’m not a big fan of the Kardashians. But what’s with the fur runway challenge when you have a whole mess of Kardashian Jenner fashion moments that could have been a runway in itself? I cannot stand that family, and yet I realize how incredible it would be for someone to come out with a parody Kim’s Paper Magazine shoot or something to that effect. We would have for sure gotten more interesting looks while still staying in theme. Oh well. Let’s begin judging!

 

AJA

The Look

If Season 7 was a the year of the stockings and garterbelts, this is the year of the snow queens. From Valentina’s ice princess to Farrah’s snowy burlesque looks and metallic highlighting, I have seen a few too many outfits with this similar theme at this point. And I would truly not have minded seeing a winter theme during the fur runway if it had at least done something unique…but it didn’t. It was a sparkly swimsuit and a fur coat. I never understood the girls I went to high school with who bundled up in Ugg Boots and furry Abercrombie coats just to wear bootie shorts and complained that they were cold…and I don’t understand this outfit now. BOOT

ALEXIS MICHELLE

The Look

Alexis…what ha happened? Alexis is usually my girl when it comes to fashion. She may not always be the most fashion forward, but everything she wears is usually very attention-getting and polished. This on the other hand, made her look like the alert version of people usually passed out in trains. And with such a memorable performance as Kris Jenner in the challenge, I was so excited to see Alexis get the recognition she deserves in this competition. But we’ll have to wait for another week when she can get the challenge and the runway to both be in sync. I’m sure it won’t take long. BOOT

Let’s Get Personal

I have to say, I was surprised that during Untucked, Alexis called out the other girls for not mentioning that they didn’t like her runway look. What does she think this is? Season 8? This is not RuPaul’s Best Friend Race! I do understand what she means though. If there are people who claim to have her back and have been kiki-ing with her the entire time, then they probably should say something to her if her runway look is not right. It makes for better TV when everyone looks incredible, and we’ve seen queens loan each other accessories, full outfits and sewing tips. So helping each other out is nothing new. However this is still a game and Alexis has always been consistent. It might have been…as Nina Bo’Nina Banana Fofana Theodore Roosevelt Brown says…sabotage.

 

CYNTHIA LEE FONTAINE

The Look

Once again, Cynthia gives a bit of a lackluster runway presentation and dress transformation. However, I do believe it fit the theme as it did resemble something Kanye would pick out for Kim to wear on a red carpet. I didn’t hate it, and didn’t love it. BOOT

The Challenge

I felt a little bit bad for Cynthia in this episode. Her performance as Kim Kardashian was not great, but it wasn’t an easy challenge to take on either. English is not Cynthia’s first language and I’m guessing it was difficult for her to remember the words to a very long verse of a song she was just taught the day before. But this is a competition, and so everyone must be judged on the same playing field.

But Miss Cucu went into the lipsync with the same positive attitude and willingness she always displays. It’s clear she won against Farrah and would have stayed no matter what.

EUREKA O’HARA

The Look

This was not the kind of look I wanted to be Eureka’s last. I’m not a fan of the placement of the fur on the garment, or of the starkness of the green against the pink and black pattern on the bodysuit. It didn’t really flatter her and it wasn’t as fabulous as I know Eureka can be. BOOT

Let’s Get Personal

This week, we saw the unexpected departure of Eureka O’Hara, due to the leg injury she endured during this season’s cheer-leading challenge. This was very disappointing to me, as I thought that Eureka was an excellent contender for the crown and a fabulous representation for big girls. I wanted so much for her to succeed. And clearly she did too, as she went home for going too hard in a past challenge. But I think that’s one of the best ways one could leave the competition. On a high note, as she now has an open invitation to return to Season 10. It’s well deserved. And with the show being in the process of contacting her doctor, you could tell Eureka wanted to clear the air with Valentina and Sasha and apologize for the controversial eating disorder comments she had made the previous episode. I cannot wait to see what Eureka accomplishes next season. It’s good to have a contestant to already look forward to this early on.

By the way *raises hand a la Valentina and Eureka,* may I just say something before we move on? Wouldn’t it be amazing if Eureka won Season 9’s Miss Congeniality award, and then Cynthia, being Season 8’s Miss Congeniality AND a current contestant, passed her her crown? And then Eureka would come back next season and as a current contestant, pass the Miss Congeniality crown to the NEXT girl? Just saying…

FARRAH MOAN

The Look

With her gorgeous Jessica Rabbit hair and bright green fur jacket, Farrah was definitely the sexiest of the evening, giving me total Poison Ivy vibes. Just wishing she had given me something a bit more interesting. We’ve seen too many looks like this on Drag Race before. And she’s really relying on pretty in this competition. Just for that, I’m unfortunately going to have to give Farrah a BOOT

The Challenge

This week, Farrah fell into the bottom two after giving a forgettable performance as one of the most outlandish of the Kardashian clan: Kylie Jenner. Kylie – with her blue hair, over the top lips and hips, and obsession with Instagram – should have been one of the easiest to parody, but Farrah did not rise to the occasion. And during her lipsync against Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Farrah looked like she had lost all hope…*cue Coco Montrese singing.* If it wasn’t for Eureka’s injury sending her home this episode, we most likely would have had to say goodbye to Farrah. But she’ll be back next week to be cute and beautiful as always…just hoping she’ll give us even more than that. Clearly this competition means a lot to her, so I’d like her to step it up.

NINA BO’NINA BROWN

The Look

While this wasn’t the most exciting thing Ive ever seen, this is the kind of Nina Bo’Nina runway I have been waiting for. Looks that rely less on makeup and focus more on the garment and framing the body-ody-ody. She looked so beautiful this week and made me so happy with the way that she posed and got down. I can’t wait to see what she can do when she relies less on face paint. TOOT

The Challenge

While Nina’s performance in the challenge as Khloe Kardashian was passable, you could see that in her heart she just wasn’t feeling it. And her attitude ultimately landed her in the bottom 3. I was absolutely shocked that a tenacious person such as Nina, who auditioned for the show 9 times and never gave up on her dream to be on Drag Race, would give up in a challenge because she didn’t get the part she wanted (Blac Chyna, Rob Kardashian’s new fiance) and ultimately admit that she has mentally checked out of the competition in general. But RuPaul gives Nina the talking to she needed, and after the thickest and most opaque black tear I’ve ever seen in my life falls down Nina’s cheek, she retires to the back of the stage, safe from the lipsync. And hopefully ready to slay us in the next challenge.

PEPPERMINT

The Look

This week, Peppermint made me happy. Sure the skirt was a bit basic as Michelle Visage said…but the rest of it looked great and fit the theme well. I loved how Harajuku cute she looked in her pink wig, I loved her fur jacket and I thought that the silhouette overall was visually appealing. Still waiting for Peppermint to wow me, but for now this is fine. TOOT

The Challenge

Peppermint also did very well in this week’s challenge. She really is one of those queens who is constantly in the top or the bottom, always keeping the viewers on their toes. As Britney Spears in the Kardashian musical, she takes on the age-old question “Why it gotta be black/white” with a full grasp that her character doesn’t have to be black for her to play her, and that she doesn’t have to be white to have fun playing Britney Spears. Maybe she should have passed on that memo to Nina this episode.

SASHA VELOUR

The Look

My boyfriend Steven and I were so impressed with this look! Sasha – being our first authentic Russian queen (sorry Katya) – gives us such a unique and gorgeous spin on the fur runway challenge in this Russian-inspired garment and runway presentation, complete with a charming Cossack dance. This was by far my favorite garment of the night. TOOT

Let’s Get Personal

This week, Sasha and Valentina go more in depth about the pressures of maintaining a certain weight and bodytype when in show business and on display for the gay community. She lovingly describes her personal journey with body dysmorphia and how she’s learned to embrace herself over time. I hope that year supply of burgers from Hamburger Mary’s come with a vegetarian option for her. She deserves each and every morsel.

SHEA COULEE

The Look

While I wasn’t so happy with her streetwalker-esque look from her first episode entrance, I was extremely delighted by this one! Shea looks absolutely gorgeous in this episode. Her hair was adorable, her fur was well-utilized and the colors of her garment really made me smile. I am in love with this look from top to bottom. TOOT

The Challenge

Shea killed it in the challenge as Blac Chyna. As someone playing a character that isn’t even a blood relative to the Kardashians and is the newest to their franchise, Shea really stood out from the crowd and delivered in every way possible. I could have used a middle-parted wig or painted differently to really look like Blac, but I was so happy with her performance and I was not the only one.

TRINITY TAYLOR

The Look

Once again, Trinity slays me in a look that’s different from the rest. This queen transforms herself every single week and is never afraid to try a new silhouette, hairdo, style of dress or aesthetic all together. But everything is still ridiculously polished, so it’s not as though she seems like she’s having an identity crisis. I think she’s playing it quiet this week due to last week’s disastrous turnout. So I’m excited to see what she pulls out of her drag box next week. With no rivalry with Eureka to distract her, I’m hoping Miss Taylor can make it to the top.

VALENTINA

The Look

Surprise surprise…Valentina slays yet another runway in her gorgeous snake-skin inspired fur runway look. Complete with gorgeous bedazzled shoes and a sparkling serpent necklace she seems to have stoned in her spare time. Really, there’s nothing bad I can say about this garment. Valentina once again has one of the best garments of the evening. TOOT

Let’s Get Personal

In most situations, I notice that those who are the quietest or most reserved, are many times unwilling to show vulnerability because they’re secretly some of the most sensitive people. And this week, we see that the reserved and very focused Valentina show some vulnerability as she discusses her past with eating disorders. Valentina has mentioned more than once how close she is with her mother. And perhaps she’s one of those people who values a few close relationships over many friendships. But regardless, I hope we see her walls come down a bit more as the season goes by so we can learn more about her. You gotta show the world you have a lot of heart if you want to win! And clearly the whole country – according to social media and the cheers I hear in the Castro – wants her to.

Make sure to check out Raven and Raja’s Fashion Photo RuView below to see if they agree with me at all.

Thank you guys so much for checking out this recap. Be sure to Please give me a like on Facebook and subscribe to my YouTube channel if you’re enjoying these reviews. I’ll be doing them all season long. And next week is of course…Snatch Game! There will be plenty of tea to spill.